I am His

Something broke in me today...in a good way.  All the anxiety, fear and control came crashing down in reckless abandonment at the feet of Jesus.  The stuff I've been trying to lay at His feet over and over again...it is finally resting there, along with my tears.  Something broke and I looked up and I saw Jesus.  I saw that He was there, once again, patiently waiting to take it all from me.  And though I undoubtedly will visit this place again, a big chunk of what I could not reliquish to Him fell at His feet, and He reached out to me, took my empty hands in His and flooded my soul with His sustaining peace.  I am His.

Praying you can lay down your burdens as well...

          ---Stacey

Wisdom and Words

I admire my husband.  He's one of those rare individuals who always thinks before he speaks.  He always weighs out what he says, before he says it, and often chooses to remain quiet when he feels the words would do more damage than good.  How I wish I had that self control.  The writer in me often wants to just say it!

When I become passionate about something, I often have to bite my tongue to keep from speaking.  Sometimes I don't bite it soon enough!  Wisdom in words is something that's been on my heart a lot lately.  The importance of processing before I speak, and weighing out the words and their worth.  I would be arrogant to believe all my words have value, or are necessary to speak. Honestly, sometimes Jesus just wants me to shut up and listen.

This is one of the reasons I struggle with Facebook, Twitter and the like.  I don't think we need to say all that we say in these formats.  Honestly, I rarely scroll through FB anymore because of this.  As  Americans, in general I think we sometimes go to far.  We feel we want to be heard.  But I'm finding there is often more value in being quiet.  That is what God is working on in me, anyway.  Afterall, once it's out of my mouth, I can't take it back.

Don't get me wrong, there are times we need to stand up, but for the most part, we live in a society that speaks constantly.  I ALWAYS regret speaking before I reflect and listen.  Because often that still small voice is telling me to be still, and let Him be God.

But for the Grace of God There Go I

My heart is aching as yet another prominent pastor gives way to sinful behavior.  I know how it effects the view of the non-believer.  Quite frankly it makes us all look bad.  That word "hypocrite" will get thrown around alot at the office.  It's just so sad.  Then there will inevitably be the believers who decide to ditch their faith because of a fallen man.  It should not be...but it happens.

Pride and Arrogance are the greatest enemy of the pastor.  And it can come in a form that looks really good.  "This person knows everything about the Bible,"  church members will say.  "He has authority, and leads his life following the Word."  People hang on his every word, and the pastor begins to believe he is really something.

A minister who is told over and over how great he is begins to believe it, if he is not careful.  No, I'm not saying we should all have low self esteem, but the good comes from Jesus.  And though we have a new nature, we are still walking around in the flesh suit.  So if we believe even for a moment that we have it all figured out and take some kind of pride in modeling it to others, we are already in danger.

"But for the grace of God, there go I."

To me this is the key.  If we live believing, under the right circumstances, any one of us could fall into sin, we are less at risk.  It's knowing that we are fully dependent of Jesus and not on our own strength.  It's admitting that we are wrong when we are.  It's not believing that we are somehow better than the person sitting listening to the sermon.  Believe me, we are all the same.  Ministers are just given a job to do, and how they complete it depends solely on how much they rely on Christ, just like everyone else.

And as for those who are sitting and listening to the pastor each week.  Serving.  Following Christ.  KEEP FOLLOWING CHRIST.  We are not following a man.  We are following Chirst.  When a ministry starts to be based around a person and not the person of Jesus Christ, when that man fails...everyone's world comes crashing down.  It shouldn't be.  This is why I personally don't agree with the satalite church concept.  I think it's a set up to worship a man, not God.  Let us not take out eyes off Jesus.  He is our everything.  Man is simply his chosen vessel.  Often broken and scared from life and sin.

This is the time to rise up and be light.  Not in an arrogant way, but in a humble and grace-filled way.  "But for the grace of God, there go I".

Cast Your Anxiety

Anyone else struggle with middle of the night anxiety?  I have on and off over the years.  This is one of the "on" times.  It's so frustrating because you feel like you don't have control at night.  When I'm worrying I'm in and out of consciousness and can't seem to be rational enough to release it to God.  I wake up with a sore mouth from clenching, tight muscles and chest.  And often I feel defeated. 

But then I do what I did this morning.  Get up, get my gunpowder green tea and the Bible and read, and pray and listen.  This morning I was reminded that HE overrides all that stuff.  In the light of day, all the worries of night seem very far away and His presence and truth are real.  Slowly the anxious residue from the night seeps away.

I'm also reminded that this walk is not about me concurring all my struggles in my strength, and it's not about how I'm doing, but it's about Him doing everything through me and in spite of me.  I am a broken and world-torn vessel, He is the perfect peace who reigns in spite of me and my down falls.

Sheww!  Am I ever thankful for that!

Be Still

"Be still and know that I am God."  for some that might seem like the most difficult thing in the world.  Like a chore even.  But it shouldn't be that way. 

Being still is the only way we can really hear from God.  It's the way He can break through and bring His peace and truth.  If we are constantly moving from one activity to the next, on our phones or pursuing entertainment, we are missing out on God and we are missing the point.

In this culture, being still can be hard.  It really starts out as a discipline.  You may even have to start with a timer or something, but if you make it a regular part of your life...you will want to take time to be still.

As a young adult, I found it very hard to be still in God's presence.  My mind would fill up with things I thought I needed to do better, or anxieties of the past.  I soon realized that was the enemy trying to rob me of what God wanted to give me.  Himself.  His peace.  An abiding sense of His presence.  A constant communion throughout the day as a result of being still.  When I realized that it wasn't about God giving me a list of things I needed to change or do (other than being still) I could rest.  Relax in His presence.  Then it became a blessing.  Something not to be missed.  A lifestyle choice.

Still think it's to hard?  Here are some practical steps to help.

1) Take regular times to check out from technology.  The phone and Internet are big distractions that we need to regularly take a break from.  I have one day a week where the whole family turns it ALL off.  Also, there is no reason to check Facebook, Instagram, Twitter...all of it all the time.  They are all robbers of peace if not used in moderation.

2)  Make tea or have some other "ritual" you do that helps your mind to focus on being still.  A signal to your body to unplug.

3) Don't over schedule your life, even with good things.  It's hard to be still when your calendar is so packed your are always thinking about the next thing.

4) Experiences are great but can't define a life.  The inner life takes time and quiet.  Try some activities that promote stillness and peace like hiking or being outdoors.

5) Pray and as Jesus to help you enjoy being still.  He will.

Being still is such an important piece of our existence.  It's one that gets lost in the craziness of this life, and it's a piece we must recover if we are going to be effective in this world and at peace in our hearts.

Complacency

com·pla·cen·cy

kəmˈplāsənsē/

noun

noun: complacency; noun: complacence

1. a feeling of smug or uncritical satisfaction with oneself or one's achievements.

   "the figures are better, but there are no grounds for complacency"

   :

   smugness, self-satisfaction, self-congratulation, self-regard; More gloating, triumph, pride; satisfaction, contentment   Over the past several months, I've felt such a burden for our church and the Christians of this community and this country.  The thing that keeps coming to my mind is "a spirit of complacency".  Our culture and comfort has lulled us to sleep.  It's made us numb to why we are here as believers in Christ.  Technolgy, media, comfort, recreation, our own persuits for money, recognition, pleasure...they have caused us to put Christ in a pot with all of it, just part of it.  He has lost His place as the center of it all. I am at a place of brokeness for the state of the Christian community today.  I am pouring out my own heart to God, to repent of my own complacency.  I want to be different.  I want to be light.  I want Christ to be in and about everything I do.  I want my children to see that too. I'm praying for revival in the churches of America.  Yes, that is an old word.  Sometimes it comes with pictures of pentacostal preachers playing to emotions.  That isn't what I mean. Revival.  A stiring of our hearts back towards the truth of Christ.  A renewal of our commitements to make Him our everything.  A fresh desire to repent of falling in to the lull and seeking Christ for ourselves and for those around us to come to know Him. We so desperately need Jesus.  We don't need anything else.  I'm praying for eyes to be opened and hearts to return to that simple purity of faith.                                                           ..Stacey

When the Light is Cast

Every time I think God has some how shown me all the "big" stuff I need to work on, or reveals something in me that I didn't realize was there, or maybe WHY it was there, He goes and does it again.  I don't know why I think He'll ever be done.  If it seems like He is, then I've stopped listening to His voice and I'll stop growing. 

In this particular instance I shared something with a friend...I reached out and said I need prayer for this!  She not only prayed for me...she took me through some steps to an AHA! moment. One of those things were there is more to the way you are reacting to a situation then what's happening right then.  It's more underlying stuff that happened as a child that chooses to resurface under certain conditions.  Wow, it really floored me, but in a good way.  When Jesus throws the light on something you just haven't seen before, it changes you.  I wrestled though it with Him, and He met me right where I was and now I have just a little more insight and hopefully wisdom to help someone else someday.

Early on in my walk with Christ I would cringe when He cast the light on something.  Sometimes we are tempted to keep really busy in order not to even let it happen.  But with time, I've come to embrace the light, even seek it out.  Because He never casts the light on an area of my life to condemn me or leave me to deal with it.  He loves me through it and refines me just alittle bit more.  And that brings me that much closer to Him.  What could be better than that?

                         ---Stacey

Priorities

I will warn readers now, I'm on my soap box today.  I've had a couple of experience's lately that have caused discouragement.  It has to do with the lack of commitment and priority on the things of God in the American Church today. 

I feel like so many use busyness, lack of money or time as an excuse for committing to things like church attendance, plugging into Life Groups, sending kids on events for spiritual growth, etc.  We all have busy lives.  We all seem to lack money and time.  But isn't it true that whatever is a priority, we make happen, regardless of these factors? 

I am frustrated and discouraged as I seek to raise my children with a real awareness of investing in the things of God.  It's top priority to me to see that above every educational, recreational and cultural experience in life, that they are getting the most from their spiritual experiences.  I am willing to sacrifice to make those kinds of things happen for them.  They are far more lasting and meaningful then any other investment I could make on their behalf.

So at the risk of making someone mad, I hope to bring reflection on the truth.   If you find yourself holding back in someway in your own life or in aiding your child in holding back, I encourage you to take another look.  What better investment of of time and money is there then to know Christ more, and grow in Him.  What are we really here for if not for that?  What are your priorities.

 ---Stacey 

In Our Midst

I meant to post last week but time got away from me.  It's amazing how God is moving.  And how is He moving?  Through the power of prayer.  I know I've been talking alot about prayer, but I have always felt called to intercede in different ways.  I have learned over the years that prayer is the most powerful and amazing thing God has for us on this earth.  No kidding.  When we pray, He is in our midst.  He hears.  He breaks bondages.  He opens doors.  HE MOVES.

Recently, at a women's breakfast at our church I learned that a someone new to our church had a burden to pray, and goes to the church once a week and prays there.  My heart jumped out of my chest at this news.  Someone who knows the power.  Someone who feels the same calling I do!  I contacted her immediately, not wanting to just barge in to her time only to find out that she had been praying for someone to feel they should be praying with her.  Amazing.  We answered each other's prayers. 

Today was the second day.  I seemed to encounter obstacles left and right, but I got there.  Wet hair.  Eyes blurred from lack of sleep.  But I was there.  And she was there.  And God was in our midst.  In all the craziness of life, full of technology and distraction, I am confident that this is the best thing we can do with our time.  It doesn't have to be at a church.  It can be anywhere.  But when God's children cry out to Him for real change.  For a movement of His spirit, He is there, and He WILL answer.  Oh what an amazing thing to be heard by the one who is in control and who loves us so desperately.

                                                                                  ---Stacey

Burden

Ever have a burden of prayer for someone so strong you literally can't do anything but pray for them all day?  That is me today.  There is such a burden and I just keep lifting it.  Then it comes back again...and I lift it again.  It's a burden that Christ keeps laying on my heart to keep me praying.  It's at these times I know I am just the vessel.  Just the vehicle that God has called to obediently use.  So here I am, Lord. 

This burden has reminded me of the power of prayer and how really unstoppable our prayers are through Christ.  Just yesterday and this morning in huge ways God moved in my own life and situations.  Situations I asked faithful prayer warriors to pray about.  Prayer is so important.  And that's why the enemy tries to make it the first thing we let go of, shut out, move away from.  But if we let Christ move through us in prayer, there is nothing He can't do in and through us.

And so with that in mind...I'm praying as God has laid this burden on my heart.  This is the song that keeps coming to mind as I lift it over and over and over...

Barlow Girl  -  Porcelain Heart

 

The Truth Will Set You Free

I'm a Mentor Mom in my church's MOPS (Mother's of Preschoolers) and today was Testimony Day.  All of MOPS builds up to this day.  We hear some women tell their story from the front, and then we split off into groups and the Mentor Mom and two leaders in the group give their testimony. 

It's always amazing to me what God does when we speak the truth...tell our story...our TRUE story.  We find to our surprise, that there are others like us, or those we didn't really know.  And most of all, we see what Christ can do in a life that is laid before Him.

I am emotionally drained and energized at the same time.  Baring one's soul and hearing other's bear theirs is a true gift of God.  Satan's power comes when we hide the secrets, the hurts, the True Story in darkness.  But bringing it to the light brings freedom and healing.  To be real is to be free.

                                                                           Blessings,
                                                                            Stacey

Lift that Weight

Ever have one of those days were you just feel the weight of all the junk in the world?  For me it seems to accumulate until I just feel this heaviness...and if I don't give it over to God, it turns into anxiety. 

The things that have started to feel heavy for me?  A young daughter of a family in our church died in a car accident this week.  My daughter read me some very disturbing headlines from the news this morning.  A new class she has this semester has opened up all kinds of topics, and the realization that many kids are involved in drugs and sex.  Car problems. More car problems.  And so on.  Sometimes it just adds up to to much.  Without awareness it accumulates until I realize I am carrying dead weight that I have no business carrying.

I don't say this lightly or try to over simplify...but I throw up my hands and I give it over to the only one who is in control of it all anyway.  I MUST acknowledge this and let HIM have it ALL.

One of the ways I've learned to do this is through a specific time prayer I have weekly.  I guess you would call it "Warfare Prayer".  At the same time every week, I take time to go into each bedroom...my kids and the room my husband and I share.  What do I do there?  I lift up all my concerns, I give it all over out loud with a passion.  When I'm done, I feel like the weight is physically gone.  It's His, and I've made it so by crying out, because He WILL answer.

Do I say this so you can see how super spiritual I am?  No.  I am NOT super spiritual.  I simply have a routine.  I've made a commitment.  I know the needs.  Anyone who calls Christ Lord can do the same, and I hope you do. 

The world is a heavy place.  Sometimes it's just too much...and we aren't supposed to carry this load.  Give it to Him.  He's the only one who can lift the burden.

                                                                       ---Stacey

Walking on Water

This is the first post of my new blog.  My heart is stirring inside to get back to my writing...to not give up...to be open.  So here I am, though it can be risky as a pastor's wife. 

I feel like I've been attempting to walk on water alot lately.  Sometimes succeeding.  Sometimes taking my eyes off of Jesus and plunging under, getting water up my nose and the whole works.  The last couple of days have been the later. 

I'm a Pastor's wife, dedicated to raising my kids and supporting my husband.  I'm also a writer.  And lately...I've been a worrier.  I've written a novel about pastor's wives.  I've sent it to agents.  I've jumped through hoops.  I thought since I already published a book this would be easy...not so.  No publisher takes unsolicited manuscripts anymore.  They want you to have an agent.  Guess what, now the agents are not taking unsolicited manuscripts.  What is a writer supposed to do?  I can't afford self-publishing, nor do I want to manage that end of things.  But something inside, some little part that knows it's possible to walk on water can't give up.  This is what I want to do!

Meanwhile, I have a preteen and teen who suddenly require the big bucks.  Driver's Ed, retreats, camp...all the fun stuff.  And then the roof needs replaced and the car breaks down.  Sound familiar?  So I go to the school district office to put my name in as a para-ed sub.  I'm thinking, they always need subs, right?  Wrong.  Nothing is available.  So I get on line and explore other avenues.  I'm committed to Mondays off with my pastor husband with a demanding job with 60 + hours, and I want to be here for my kids on weekends and evenings. And until May, I'm committed to Mentor at Mops one day a week.  That makes a job just a tad bit difficult to find. So what did I do? 

I'm ashamed to say I gave in and fell in.  I watched Downton Abbey and ate to much.  I cried.  I did the "poor me" thing.  And as I conversed with God...OK, whined to God.  He kept one word coming to my mind over and over.  "Trust".   "Trust."  He didn't say He'd find me a job.  He didn't promise to get my novel published.  He reminded me that He is in control and He will provide and take care of me.  But what do I have to do?  I've got to keep my eyes on Him so I can move forward and walk on water.

I'm working on it.  This blog is a start.  I hope it reminds you that you are not alone.  That we all struggle to keep our eyes on Jesus, but He is faithful.

                                                                           ---Stacey