Burden

Ever have a burden of prayer for someone so strong you literally can't do anything but pray for them all day?  That is me today.  There is such a burden and I just keep lifting it.  Then it comes back again...and I lift it again.  It's a burden that Christ keeps laying on my heart to keep me praying.  It's at these times I know I am just the vessel.  Just the vehicle that God has called to obediently use.  So here I am, Lord. 

This burden has reminded me of the power of prayer and how really unstoppable our prayers are through Christ.  Just yesterday and this morning in huge ways God moved in my own life and situations.  Situations I asked faithful prayer warriors to pray about.  Prayer is so important.  And that's why the enemy tries to make it the first thing we let go of, shut out, move away from.  But if we let Christ move through us in prayer, there is nothing He can't do in and through us.

And so with that in mind...I'm praying as God has laid this burden on my heart.  This is the song that keeps coming to mind as I lift it over and over and over...

Barlow Girl  -  Porcelain Heart

 

The Truth Will Set You Free

I'm a Mentor Mom in my church's MOPS (Mother's of Preschoolers) and today was Testimony Day.  All of MOPS builds up to this day.  We hear some women tell their story from the front, and then we split off into groups and the Mentor Mom and two leaders in the group give their testimony. 

It's always amazing to me what God does when we speak the truth...tell our story...our TRUE story.  We find to our surprise, that there are others like us, or those we didn't really know.  And most of all, we see what Christ can do in a life that is laid before Him.

I am emotionally drained and energized at the same time.  Baring one's soul and hearing other's bear theirs is a true gift of God.  Satan's power comes when we hide the secrets, the hurts, the True Story in darkness.  But bringing it to the light brings freedom and healing.  To be real is to be free.

                                                                           Blessings,
                                                                            Stacey

Lift that Weight

Ever have one of those days were you just feel the weight of all the junk in the world?  For me it seems to accumulate until I just feel this heaviness...and if I don't give it over to God, it turns into anxiety. 

The things that have started to feel heavy for me?  A young daughter of a family in our church died in a car accident this week.  My daughter read me some very disturbing headlines from the news this morning.  A new class she has this semester has opened up all kinds of topics, and the realization that many kids are involved in drugs and sex.  Car problems. More car problems.  And so on.  Sometimes it just adds up to to much.  Without awareness it accumulates until I realize I am carrying dead weight that I have no business carrying.

I don't say this lightly or try to over simplify...but I throw up my hands and I give it over to the only one who is in control of it all anyway.  I MUST acknowledge this and let HIM have it ALL.

One of the ways I've learned to do this is through a specific time prayer I have weekly.  I guess you would call it "Warfare Prayer".  At the same time every week, I take time to go into each bedroom...my kids and the room my husband and I share.  What do I do there?  I lift up all my concerns, I give it all over out loud with a passion.  When I'm done, I feel like the weight is physically gone.  It's His, and I've made it so by crying out, because He WILL answer.

Do I say this so you can see how super spiritual I am?  No.  I am NOT super spiritual.  I simply have a routine.  I've made a commitment.  I know the needs.  Anyone who calls Christ Lord can do the same, and I hope you do. 

The world is a heavy place.  Sometimes it's just too much...and we aren't supposed to carry this load.  Give it to Him.  He's the only one who can lift the burden.

                                                                       ---Stacey

Walking on Water

This is the first post of my new blog.  My heart is stirring inside to get back to my writing...to not give up...to be open.  So here I am, though it can be risky as a pastor's wife. 

I feel like I've been attempting to walk on water alot lately.  Sometimes succeeding.  Sometimes taking my eyes off of Jesus and plunging under, getting water up my nose and the whole works.  The last couple of days have been the later. 

I'm a Pastor's wife, dedicated to raising my kids and supporting my husband.  I'm also a writer.  And lately...I've been a worrier.  I've written a novel about pastor's wives.  I've sent it to agents.  I've jumped through hoops.  I thought since I already published a book this would be easy...not so.  No publisher takes unsolicited manuscripts anymore.  They want you to have an agent.  Guess what, now the agents are not taking unsolicited manuscripts.  What is a writer supposed to do?  I can't afford self-publishing, nor do I want to manage that end of things.  But something inside, some little part that knows it's possible to walk on water can't give up.  This is what I want to do!

Meanwhile, I have a preteen and teen who suddenly require the big bucks.  Driver's Ed, retreats, camp...all the fun stuff.  And then the roof needs replaced and the car breaks down.  Sound familiar?  So I go to the school district office to put my name in as a para-ed sub.  I'm thinking, they always need subs, right?  Wrong.  Nothing is available.  So I get on line and explore other avenues.  I'm committed to Mondays off with my pastor husband with a demanding job with 60 + hours, and I want to be here for my kids on weekends and evenings. And until May, I'm committed to Mentor at Mops one day a week.  That makes a job just a tad bit difficult to find. So what did I do? 

I'm ashamed to say I gave in and fell in.  I watched Downton Abbey and ate to much.  I cried.  I did the "poor me" thing.  And as I conversed with God...OK, whined to God.  He kept one word coming to my mind over and over.  "Trust".   "Trust."  He didn't say He'd find me a job.  He didn't promise to get my novel published.  He reminded me that He is in control and He will provide and take care of me.  But what do I have to do?  I've got to keep my eyes on Him so I can move forward and walk on water.

I'm working on it.  This blog is a start.  I hope it reminds you that you are not alone.  That we all struggle to keep our eyes on Jesus, but He is faithful.

                                                                           ---Stacey