Silence Speaks Volumes

It's been awhile since I've blogged.  Honestly, I just haven't had much to say.  God's been speaking to me about the value of silence.  Of resting in His control.  Of trusting in Him and not always having to voice an opinion.

I've blogged before about my frustration of social media taking over every quiet space of life.  The voices of these sometimes useful sources sometimes completely overwhelm me.  It's just to much.  Silence speaks volumes.  It speaks of trusting Christ in the face of religious and social persecution.  It speaks of rest and belief that HE is in control.

I'm learning that when I do speak, it needs to be in the RIGHT setting and at the RIGHT time, or it's just noise.  And oh, the peace that comes from just turning off all the "voices" that over-power His still small voice!


                                                                                --Stacey

Let's Be Real

I was talking to a friend yesterday.  The fact that so many Facebook posts and blogs portray that everything is wonderful came up.  Things like perfect family devotions each morning and sibling unity.  Or there's the perfect relationship with no issues, the perfect exercise and eating routine that makes the perfect body.  And then of course the reports of a dream life and lots of money.

As we sat having dinner, my friend talked about her desire to seek out "REAL" woman on blogs, and Facebook.  Woman who don't put up that perfect front, but choose to show the whole truth and not just the good parts.  Amen to that!  In this world of social media it's so easy for the "real" to get lost in what we want others to perceive.  We all have struggles and heart-aches, and non of us has a perfect walk with Jesus.  All of us struggle.  Imagine what the world would be like if we let our guards down and were real with one another.  Imagine what would happen if we could encourage each other in our struggles instead of portraying that we are super spiritual and have it all together.  Imagine what would happen if we stopped judging others and what we think we know about them and just be a real friend and encourager to them.

I am blessed with this dear friend that I can be real with.  That I can share my life struggles with and get encouragement and support.  Life is messy.  I am so thankful for someone to go through the mess with. I hope you have your support too.  And next time you read that perfect status or post, remember...not everything is as it seems.  We all need Jesus, every day.


Stacey

Timing is Everything

It's been awhile since I blogged.  What a whirlwind since November!  If there's anything I've learned from the last few months it's the value of waiting on God and His perfect timing.  It's trusting that He knows what He's doing and when to do it.

I had all but given up publishing my novel.  I came to the point of saying to God, if this was written between you and me, I'm OK with that.  I talked to a writer friend who had recently had her first novel published.  I told her how hard it was to find a publisher.  BIG names wouldn't let you in unless you are Billy Graham's daughter or some other fame...and small companies...well I had an interesting time with my first book and a one-person show publisher.  I looked up my friend's publisher and was amazed.  It really looked like the perfect fit for my book.  And it wasn't too big or too small...it was just right.  I sent it in one last time.  I decided this was it.  The guidelines stated if you didn't hear in a month, you weren't going to be published by them.  A month came and went, and I was OK with not getting it published.  I moved on so to speak.  Then three months later an email came apologizing for the delayed response due to huge amounts of manuscripts sent in, "we want to publisher your novel with a date of August 2015".  Isn't that just like God?  He waits until you give it all up, and then he gives it back.  And I have confidence that my motives are pure.  I have no need for accolades or attention.  This is purely and simply a labor of love that I hope will touch others.  I'm so thankful for the process and the way it all happened.

Meanwhile, after assuming the publishing thing wasn't happening, I pursued Para Educator subbing with the school district.  This to turned out to be a long, tedious process.  One I many times decided must not be happening.  Only days after find out about the novel I got the word that I was on the sub team and headed to orientation.  My goal was 2 days a week.  Enough to give me the extra money I needed without sacrificing things like my day with my very busy husband, or the time I needed for pure sanity since I'm running around most nights with two teens.  My first 1 day sub job turned into 3 more days, which turned into 5 more weeks.

Suddenly I had a book to edit, a job each day, and a crazy life with a pastor and 2 kids.  I thought I might not make it about 3 weeks in.  The job stretched me.  I was working with kids...some with difficulties.  I even taught a couple of classes.  I didn't imagine every doing that, let alone really enjoying it.  There were a few melt downs and struggles, and I would NEVER want to work that many hours at this point in my life again, but I learned to rely on God.  I had to go to Him for strength because I didn't have it in myself.  And now that I'm working 2 days a week and somehow, I managed (with my husband's help) to get most of the edits done and haul kids every which way, and "do" the holidays, I am reflecting on the amazing journey.  I have grown in ways I never thought possible this last couple of months.  I can see now, that MY plan would never have allowed for all this growth.  My plan would have been easy and I would not have gained the rich blessings I have.  I am so thankful that His timing is everything.

I am His

Something broke in me today...in a good way.  All the anxiety, fear and control came crashing down in reckless abandonment at the feet of Jesus.  The stuff I've been trying to lay at His feet over and over again...it is finally resting there, along with my tears.  Something broke and I looked up and I saw Jesus.  I saw that He was there, once again, patiently waiting to take it all from me.  And though I undoubtedly will visit this place again, a big chunk of what I could not reliquish to Him fell at His feet, and He reached out to me, took my empty hands in His and flooded my soul with His sustaining peace.  I am His.

Praying you can lay down your burdens as well...

          ---Stacey

Wisdom and Words

I admire my husband.  He's one of those rare individuals who always thinks before he speaks.  He always weighs out what he says, before he says it, and often chooses to remain quiet when he feels the words would do more damage than good.  How I wish I had that self control.  The writer in me often wants to just say it!

When I become passionate about something, I often have to bite my tongue to keep from speaking.  Sometimes I don't bite it soon enough!  Wisdom in words is something that's been on my heart a lot lately.  The importance of processing before I speak, and weighing out the words and their worth.  I would be arrogant to believe all my words have value, or are necessary to speak. Honestly, sometimes Jesus just wants me to shut up and listen.

This is one of the reasons I struggle with Facebook, Twitter and the like.  I don't think we need to say all that we say in these formats.  Honestly, I rarely scroll through FB anymore because of this.  As  Americans, in general I think we sometimes go to far.  We feel we want to be heard.  But I'm finding there is often more value in being quiet.  That is what God is working on in me, anyway.  Afterall, once it's out of my mouth, I can't take it back.

Don't get me wrong, there are times we need to stand up, but for the most part, we live in a society that speaks constantly.  I ALWAYS regret speaking before I reflect and listen.  Because often that still small voice is telling me to be still, and let Him be God.

But for the Grace of God There Go I

My heart is aching as yet another prominent pastor gives way to sinful behavior.  I know how it effects the view of the non-believer.  Quite frankly it makes us all look bad.  That word "hypocrite" will get thrown around alot at the office.  It's just so sad.  Then there will inevitably be the believers who decide to ditch their faith because of a fallen man.  It should not be...but it happens.

Pride and Arrogance are the greatest enemy of the pastor.  And it can come in a form that looks really good.  "This person knows everything about the Bible,"  church members will say.  "He has authority, and leads his life following the Word."  People hang on his every word, and the pastor begins to believe he is really something.

A minister who is told over and over how great he is begins to believe it, if he is not careful.  No, I'm not saying we should all have low self esteem, but the good comes from Jesus.  And though we have a new nature, we are still walking around in the flesh suit.  So if we believe even for a moment that we have it all figured out and take some kind of pride in modeling it to others, we are already in danger.

"But for the grace of God, there go I."

To me this is the key.  If we live believing, under the right circumstances, any one of us could fall into sin, we are less at risk.  It's knowing that we are fully dependent of Jesus and not on our own strength.  It's admitting that we are wrong when we are.  It's not believing that we are somehow better than the person sitting listening to the sermon.  Believe me, we are all the same.  Ministers are just given a job to do, and how they complete it depends solely on how much they rely on Christ, just like everyone else.

And as for those who are sitting and listening to the pastor each week.  Serving.  Following Christ.  KEEP FOLLOWING CHRIST.  We are not following a man.  We are following Chirst.  When a ministry starts to be based around a person and not the person of Jesus Christ, when that man fails...everyone's world comes crashing down.  It shouldn't be.  This is why I personally don't agree with the satalite church concept.  I think it's a set up to worship a man, not God.  Let us not take out eyes off Jesus.  He is our everything.  Man is simply his chosen vessel.  Often broken and scared from life and sin.

This is the time to rise up and be light.  Not in an arrogant way, but in a humble and grace-filled way.  "But for the grace of God, there go I".

Cast Your Anxiety

Anyone else struggle with middle of the night anxiety?  I have on and off over the years.  This is one of the "on" times.  It's so frustrating because you feel like you don't have control at night.  When I'm worrying I'm in and out of consciousness and can't seem to be rational enough to release it to God.  I wake up with a sore mouth from clenching, tight muscles and chest.  And often I feel defeated. 

But then I do what I did this morning.  Get up, get my gunpowder green tea and the Bible and read, and pray and listen.  This morning I was reminded that HE overrides all that stuff.  In the light of day, all the worries of night seem very far away and His presence and truth are real.  Slowly the anxious residue from the night seeps away.

I'm also reminded that this walk is not about me concurring all my struggles in my strength, and it's not about how I'm doing, but it's about Him doing everything through me and in spite of me.  I am a broken and world-torn vessel, He is the perfect peace who reigns in spite of me and my down falls.

Sheww!  Am I ever thankful for that!